


beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

by thissupposedcrime



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Multi, certain spoilers for vld s7 but isn't canonical, humor and angst, ships are mostly implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thissupposedcrime/pseuds/thissupposedcrime
Summary: Against her will, Pidge embarks on a series of growing pains back on Earth. For some reason, Team Voltron stays along for the ride.“Why did you abscond with a cow?” A Garrison officer asks.It halts everything.“We didn’t?” Hunk says. Allura’s eyes slant towards Hunk, likely frustrated his comment came out questioningly.In fairness, he’s handling the situation with more poise than anyone in Matt’s family. Katie’s no longer slouched in her seat, now almost vibrating with energy, bright-eyed. Lance follows her lead down to hell.“She was a free gift for buying video games from the alien in the Area 51 store at this space mall we went to,” Katie announces with glee. Sometimes Matt isn’t sure who gets more perverse pleasure in watching the Garrison staff crumble apart. Keith’s a contender if they wronged Shiro, but he’s otherwise rallying the troops, the strong leader Shiro knew he was destined to become. Not Matt’s sister. Call it the last vestiges of youth or the vengeful streak she inherited from Mom, but nothing gives her joy like ruining Iverson’s.





	beneath the ghosts of all my guilt

**Author's Note:**

> hey, while I’ve still got no excuse, you guys supported the last one so blame yourselves too. except now we’re like 75% more serious and it became pidge centric. 
> 
> frantically written before season 7 premiers and despite the spoilers we got going that already means this is jossed. in this AU nothing bad happens to earth so voltron’s more or less on vacation as the castle ship gets rebuilt. 
> 
> you don't need to have read harder to be the one who survived to get this, but consider it a serious sister piece

Listen, terrorizing the Galaxy Garrison was _not_ the plan. Hunk is sure of it. Shiro specifically delivered a speech about moving past everything before and after Kerberos so they wouldn’t do anything criminal to the staff or harmful to planetary defenses. At the time, Hunk nodded along in appropriate places and definitely did not remember the day Keith...removed himself from the Garrison premises in graphic, explosive detail.

Unfortunately, though Hunk had the dignity to ignore how Shiro’s hand, the one not gripping Keith’s shoulder like a lifeline, was pressed into a tight fist, he knew what was coming.

Pidge bounced on her heels next to him during the speech. They’re totally going to revisit Kerberos.

Clearly, no one is risking Earth’s safety by preventing the speedy rebuild of the Castle of Lions. They have all good intentions in bolstering the training program in case Earth is ever invaded.

But.

Well.

Hunk and Lance will be away to soak up family bonding for part of the trip, meaning Pidge and Keith are going to have _a lot_ of time on their hands living so close by. Sure, they’ll help with the Castle and teaching cadets, but it’s the _Garrison_.

The place where they were coldly told the people they loved most were dead and tormented by staff and students.

Hunk isn’t sure if he wants to teach Romelle how to use a camera to keep track of what happens, or if ignorance is a bliss he can actually obtain.

* * *

High ranking Garrison officials are either gaping in wonder or sputtering in offended shock at their lions as they dominate the asphalt pavement in front of the main building.

Iverson screams about quarantining them in lock-up, separating the team, and sequestering their alien teammates. Pidge does what comes natural when faced with Iverson, standing in front of Coran and waving a weapon in the air.

Dad shouts, “Look at my girl!” Pidge does not preen, despite what Matt says otherwise.

Keith confronts Iverson. He and Pidge haven’t talked about it, especially with Shiro’s return, Keith’s newfound maturity, and the burden of responsible leadership, but Pidge will continue to believe they have a silent understanding until told otherwise.

This place is going to suffer in some capacity for all it did.

In many ways, the Garrison never stopped taking from them, even after they left Earth. Matt and Dad were the specters following every drop of Galra blood spilt across space, and it took until she found Matt again for her to stop flinching at her reflection late at night, seeing his face staring back.

She liked having long hair.

She loves her brother and father.

Finding them keeps Pidge going, strengthens the center of gravity in her stomach she grits down on during a brutal fight.

But all of this doesn’t invalidate the haunting, the hurt the Garrison inflicted upon her.

Shiro doesn’t magically erase Keith’s past either, and if Pidge alone has to remind the world of that, so be it. He’ll have her back, and, if not, Matt’s good at causing distractions.

Cosmo launches himself at a man in glasses apparently called Adam. When he returns for praise from Shiro, Pidge can’t help herself from shouting at Iverson, “Do you still think containment will work?”

He glowers at her, and she waves back.

It’s on.

Nothing can stop her now.

“Hi Mom!” Matt screams, running past her to fling himself into Mom’s arms. Pidge doesn’t think he cried that hard when reunited with her or Dad. Mom’s sobbing too.

Oh.

 _Oh no_.

“Dad, Mom forgave me for leaving Earth, right?” Is the sky getting darker? Does anyone else feel a nervous sweat coming on? Mom was the parent people feared. Pidge knows her mother loves her more than anything, but she's still capable of killing her for letting her think she was dead.

“Katie, what do you think?” Dad sounds jolly, arm around her shoulder as he moves them forward to the spectacle of Matt twirling Mom around, pausing only so Mom can glare at a staffer complaining about a civilian on the base.

“I think there are too many witnesses for her to kill me,” Pidge says under her breath before crushed against Matt’s side, and Dad hugs them all together.

Uncharitably, Pidge thinks they’ll need a crowbar to separate Matt from Mom if they bring him back to space.

She feels a kiss against the top of her head, recognizes Mom’s hand rub up and down her back like she used to whenever she was having a bad day.

Pidge thinks the crowbar will be necessary for her too, forgetting to be worried at how upset Mom must be in favor of remembering just how much she _missed_ her.

* * *

Colleen Holt is the smartest woman Matt ever met, and not just because she gave life to him. She’s the one who dragged him to self defense classes as preparation for his entry into the Garrison, because it’s better to possess a practiced skill in times of peace instead of needing one in dire straights and finding yourself helpless. While Dad bought him and Katie their first computers, it was Mom who stayed up with him as he studied with flashcards, catching an error in a programing textbook that led to Matt acing the final with the highest score in his class.

When Matt woke up in the predawn light, it was to Mom brushing the hair away from his forehead and balancing a tray of homemade breakfast food in the other hand.

“Hey Giggles,” she began, sitting at the edge of his bed. God, has he missed human mattresses and doting parents. “I know your work is important, but you recognize only Katie needs to go today, right? The Garrison called to schedule meetings about Kerberos separate from conversations about Voltron. You can sleep in,” Colleen says, and Matt is thriving on how dark her voice went in mentioning the call from the Garrison.

Maybe he can convince Katie that bringing Mom with them is an excellent idea and watch her go off.

“Nah, Mom. The work’s too important. We’re Holts; we do our part.” Matt’s a damn hero. So is Katie. She must be so proud.

“You’re a Holt, which mean you do _more_ than your part,” she replies, and it’s all fond indulgence, none of the sorrow she must have felt in his absence as she gets up from his bed.

“Love you,” Matt tells her, and it’s a testament to that love that he looks at her instead of the stack of French toast and eggs.

“Love you too,” she says from the doorway, blowing him a kiss.

“Katherine Marie Holt! Do not fall back asleep!” Mom shouts as she leaves. Matt’s really glad for the thick door blocking him from watching her try to drag Katie out of sleep. Matt knows she spent all night connecting her home computers to the research she brought from space. There’s no way she’s been asleep more than an hour.

Hearing a shriek of, “Five more minutes, God!” reminds Matt that maybe Mom wouldn’t be the best to have at the Garrison meeting today with Katie in close quarters if this is how loud their new morning voices are.

Apparently, neither is Matt, because it’s been nearly four hours, and he’s spent every minute regretting not enjoying a longer rest at home and not getting a chance to say a word against the accusations, complaints, and thinly veiled insults posed as questions by the admirals, Iverson, and other staffers Matt barely remembers if he does at all.

This is the final meeting before Lance and Hunk leave to visit their families, and they’re the embodiment of impatience. Katie’s not even attempting to hide that she’s dozing on and off, having stolen Lance’s jacket to bunch together as a pillow. It’s impossible to find the drool charming after growing up with her slobbering on papers as much as their dogs did. Matt hopes Lance has accepted that jacket won’t be returned dry.

But all in all, the Paladins are handling the inquiry better than expected.

“Permission to ask a question, Commander?” A man with the name tag Richardson requests. There’s an odd gleam in his eye, one Matt’s seen reflected in his and Katie’s, and he wishes, fervently, that it makes Iverson do the aborted full body twitch the cadets used to covet. Anything to break up the monotony.

“Granted,” Iverson says without sparing Richardson a glance, fixated on Keith in a staredown that won’t end well. Matt doesn’t fault his focus, though. Keith is a far cagier and clever creature than the man who exploded out of the Garrison, Iverson’s blood dripping from his fist.

The last time Matt spoke with Keith, he was screaming his name over a communication system, begging him not to kamikaze himself, only for Matt to be muted and ignored. Present Keith is older, more terrifyingly competent and cool headed. Alien moms, wolves, and locating the presumed lost love of your life in the abyss of a space lion apparently foster rapid growth.

Matt is so distracted composing the dramatic screenplay of their lives that he almost misses the wonderful combination of words that slip out of Richardson.

“Why did you abscond with a cow?” Richardson asks.

It halts everything.

“What?” Lance finally offers, blinking slowly. His lips quiver.

“We didn’t?” Hunk adds. Allura’s eyes slant towards Hunk, likely frustrated his comment came out questioningly.

In fairness, he’s handling the situation with more poise than anyone in Matt’s family. Katie’s no longer slouched in her seat, now almost vibrating with energy, bright-eyed. Lance follows her lead down to hell.

“She was a free gift for buying video games from the alien in the Area 51 store at this space mall we went to,” Katie announces with glee. Sometimes Matt isn’t sure who gets more perverse pleasure in watching the Garrison staff crumble apart. Keith’s a contender if they wronged Shiro, but he’s otherwise rallying the troops, the strong leader Shiro knew he was destined to become. Not Matt’s sister. Call it the last vestiges of youth or the vengeful streak she inherited from Mom, but nothing gives her joy like ruining Iverson’s.

“You got it from space?” One of Iverson’s graduate assistants shrieks across the room. Cosmo’s head picks up like he’s just heard a dog whistle. Matt hope someone else comments on that so he doesn’t have to. No one critiques the kid’s high pitched loudness, and Cosmo’s snout nudges Shiro, whose hand rubs his ears.

Let the record show Matt was not informed Shiro and Keith adopted a cool dog and is not responsible for any gifts or celebrations this prompted.

“She has a name,” Lance says, and the _obviously_ isn’t as silent as they all would like.

“It’s Kaltenecker,” Hunk explains while Lance slides his datapad across the conference room table, selfies with the cow glowing brightly on the screen.

“She was very helpful running away from the security guard,” Katie announces, unprompted. Iverson does another twitch, and Matt watches his sister add more kindling to the fire. Mom and Dad are going to frame the transcript of this conversation. He knows it.

“What?” Allura interrupts before any Garrison staff can formulate a response. “You neglected to mention that part.” She immediately seems to regret the outburst, remembering where they are.

Matt wants to reassure Allura that she and Coran are the closest they have to adults in the room, and then ask for her hand in marriage.

“Now Princess,” Coran starts, “it was so long ago. And we were making a strategic retreat from a Galra. Nothing to be concerned with.”

“Really Pidge?” Keith focuses on the real enemy. It’s smart.

“Why would you accept a cow?” Matt thinks Dos Santos is the one speaking, but either this conversation has aged him poorly or he’s still hungover. Possibly both. The best days are cruel, rough, and long resting in their graves.

“Aren’t they treasured family pets? How can you critique a rescue mission!” Coran sounds indignant, and Matt says goodbye to whatever composure he was supposed to have, touching his head upon the desk and trying desperately not to laugh.

A pained whisper of “No,” escapes Shiro. He shares a look with Keith, and both face the rest of the paladins, expressions ranging from abashed shame (Hunk) to dawning realization about the countless lies they’ve told about Earth (the other two, including Matt's own blood).

“Cow’s aren’t pets,” Richardson replies, because this is where is line in the sand is, his point of no return. Matt is reminded how unprepared Earth is for a potential invasion if the only argument worth having is over a cow.

“Don't discriminate against farmers,” Hunk interjects.

What a way to lose the war. 

* * *

**Lies Hunk but Mainly Pidge and Lance Told Their Alien Teammates That Came Back to Haunt Them**

  1. Lance is normal.
  2. Pidge’s furry little garbage monsters are akin to religious icons back on Earth, so it is vital she be allowed to collect and house as many as possible, not just for herself but for the sake of the rest of the team.
  3. Cows are man’s best friend and kept as pets.
  4. Video games are located in every home and important cultural artifacts, so of course they need to dedicate their time to making them compatible to the Castle of Lions. 
  5. Screaming at games through the night into the early morning is acceptable earthling behavior. 
  6. Keith was born clutching a knife. In their defense, this was before both Krolia and the Blade of Marmora, events which only made the lie more plausible. 
  7. The Galaxy Garrison anthem is a series of rhythmic chants followed by two hours of silence, of which it is mandatory to attempt sleep after a dance off deciding the new leader of the Garrison. 
  8. Certain humans can uninstall emotions.
  9. Every single increasingly complex handshake. 
  10. That time they were all exhausted from a mission but Allura wanted to run drills and they convinced Coran it was a holiday and weren’t allowed to work out. 
  11. Of course Shiro and Keith would agree and validate their claims if they weren’t busy being hyper focused about the other accepting the role of/remaining the leader, consumed with the grief of Shiro’s disappearance, acting increasingly strange because Keith was on missions for the Blade of Marmora, or coming back from the dead. Again.



* * *

“The theme song isn't real? But we taught Romelle and practiced in the Blue Lion before coming!” Coran seems devastated, and Pidge solely blames Lance for the dance moves Coran starts miming as he talks.

“I forgot all about that,” Lance says with a touch of wonder. In fairness, so had Pidge. “Sorry Coran. I never would have continued this if I knew we would one day have to bring you to the Garrison.”

“Oh number three, we could have spent time practicing real Altean war songs instead.”

“That would have been fun,” Hunk interrupts quickly, “and I'm sure we can find time to do that once the Castle is rebuilt. But can we go over what else we lied about right now? Because if I get a bunch of calls about Voltron during vacation, my mom will kill me. Like literally. And Lance has siblings so it's not like anything is stopping his parents from ending him.”

“Excuse you! I'm the best one, the favorite. Do you hear me, the favorite!” Lance huffs.

“Dude, I met your Dad. Veronica is his favorite.”

“That doesn't count. She's the only girl. Look at Pidge. She totally gets away with murder because of it, right?”

“Do not bring me into this. You think bringing Matt and my Dad back perfectly balanced Mom out after she spent a year thinking her entire family was dead because I disappeared?” She can almost hear Matt wincing from where he stands behind her. “Besides, by that logic Matt should also be fine because he's the only boy. Instead it's cause he's always sucked up to Mom.” It's true, and someone needs to say it.

“Or we could focus back on the many apologies you owe Coran and Allura,” Keith says.

“Just promise me Glitendolta Day is real,” Allura begs. “I was so looking forward to the annual Festival of Glitter and the cute costumes.” Pidge can almost imagine the pink hearts floating around her head.

Lance winces, and so does Pidge. That was a low blow, promoting and pining for a holiday about her weak spots in hopes she would wormhole the castle to a new mall so they could find more video games.

“No, but I'm sure Pidge and Lance can find alternate holidays for you,” Keith adds, unconcerned with giving them a twisted form of homework.

“What else?” Shiro asks. He and Keith are in one of their telepathic moods processing where to go next. Pidge doesn't know what is worse, Shiro’s brand of formal apology and guilt trip or Keith's tendency to train the misbehavior out of them like he's channelling Allura in their first week of Voltron.

“It's probably obvious now but humans can't actually uninstall emotions,” Hunk offers. A snarl flashes across Keith's face after a few of them quickly glance away from Shiro's arm.

“I have cleaned and prepared the Garbage Gods to be returned to Earth!” Romelle shouts, balancing three of Pidge’s fluffballs from Pidge’s solo adventure, and her heart sinks.

“I am sorry if I missed a step in the admittedly baffling ritual, but I was told it was important and time sensitive. What if you weren't permitted enough time to prepare due to your meetings?”

Krolia follows her, a dark, unamused shadow. Cosmo trots at her heels. Someone attached a wagon for carting around the other fluffballs to Cosmo’s back. Each one has carefully been bathed and fluffed. Tiny ribbons decorate them.

“It was a unique process, but a nice change of pace knowing they're going to be returned to us eventually.” Romelle continues, with only a slight quiver in her voice.

The Paladins simultaneously remember how religion and sacrifice have ruined Romelle’s life, and no one feels more guilty about dragging her into the conflict that Keith.

Keith is going to kill her before Mom can.

“I’m sure no one here could have done a better job,” Shiro reassures, smiling. Lying. They can work with that. Clearly. Everyone begins nodding along, including Allura and Coran, who told Romelle about it in the first place. No one needs to hurt here.

“Romelle, it was fake. Anything about Earth you learned from these three,” Keith, clearly annoyed, points at Pidge, Lance, and Hunk “is a lie. They've been lying to Allura and Coran the entire time so they didn't know until just now.”

Romelle’s face contorts into a look of shock, and then betrayal when spotting Hunk, who has spent every misadventure on the way to Earth thanking Romelle for reading his mind and criticizing their weird daily lives.

Hunk stares at the ground.

“I suggest everyone spend the downtime figuring out how the team can make up for wasting your time with their lies. I know I will,” Keith concludes darkly.

Sometimes Pidge misses the fake Keith Lance and the Garrison built up before she met him. Instead of an impulsive hothead who could have ended all their suffering with a few quick punches, it's prolonged and to be methodically considered.

If she wasn't involved, Pidge knows herself well enough to admit she would gleefully watch this play out.

“That sounds like a proper solution,” Romelle concludes, but the look in her eye makes a shiver crawl up Pidge’s spine and desperately want to follow Lance or Hunk out of the desert and away from all vengeful Alteans.

* * *

_Two weeks later_

“You were supposed to explain to Romelle about the Geneva Convention,” Lance complains to Pidge.

The two of them are disgustingly sweaty and hiding under the shade of a rocky peak, barely visible to the Garrison.

“Look, I tried. Do you have any idea how quickly Keith pulled me away once Romelle started asking why they were necessary and what she should learn from them?”

“She might actually kill us Pidge.”

“I know. I was trying to teach her about the mercy of quick deaths.”

* * *

Because Pidge, Lance, and Hunk are assholes, they make their goodbyes dramatic and obnoxious. It is not because they have a bet on which family will scream at them to wrap it up first. Pidge knows it won’t be hers- Hunk is a sucker for thinking otherwise.

“Katie Holt,” Lance starts solemnly, one hand on her shoulder and the other on Hunk’s. “Do you vow to take every opportunity to find out embarrassing gossip about the people we left behind while Hunk and I are gone?”

“I do,” she replies, gravely. Finally, a sport she was born to play.

“And,” Lance continues, “Do you also vow to do everything Hunk wouldn’t do in this quest?”

“I do,” Pidge repeats.

“You guys,” Hunk sighs, “are the worst.”

“He is,” Pidge agrees and ignores Lance’s fingers digging into her shoulder in response.

Faintly, Pidge hears Allura ask, “They remember the goal is to check in with their families, rebuild the Castle, and train the Garrison for a potential invasion, right?”

Matt’s reply is a rueful confession, “She can multitask with the best of them. You know that.”

* * *

Pidge wasn’t aware of Shiro’s condition until Pilot Error blared across the television screen.

Before they returned to Earth, some asshole reporter had the nerve to write a series of editorials  
on the Icarus of Kerberos. Multiple sources from the Garrison leaked Shiro was ill, that Holt advocated for him despite pressure from Admirals. Even his ex partner made a statement about his deteriorating arm muscles.

Pidge remembers her mother screaming on the phone about the impropriety of blaming Sam’s faith. Pidge also remembers her screaming at her mom for supporting Dad’s choice in pilots despite her having knowing the truth. It was one of their last conversations before she began hacking Garrison files and sneaking into the base. Pidge isn’t sure she ever apologized.

Back then, Shiro was just a set of stories around the dinner table to her: Shiro who managed a safe descent despite the broken wing, Shiro who plotted the quickest courses, Shiro who saved Dad, time and time again. Matt would chime in with his own stories about how helpful, how kind, how noble the Galaxy Garrison’s best guy truly was.

He didn’t rescue Matt from the Galra Arena, didn’t check in with Pidge or support her every quest to hunt the rest of her family down. This wasn’t the Shiro who trusted her enough to run diagnosis on his arm, nor the man who shielded her from enemy combatants when her shields were low.

More importantly, he could never compare to the human Shiro, who helped her hide from Allura, or carried her onto a soft surface every time she passed out in front of computer monitors.

And maybe there’s a version of Katie Holt who didn’t hack into the Garrison’s files, didn’t take scissors to her hair and hide away her favorite dresses and tunics. She might have believed pilot error for her father’s favorite mythical figure. Even if they aggrandize him, he was human to Dad and apparently the world. Lesson learned.

Except she’s the Katie Holt who clawed her way back to Earth, and Shiro is as much her’s as Matt is.

She would never forsake Allura and Coran’s dreams of seeing the Castle of Lions rebuilt quickly. There won't be a day she isn't scanning lab equipment and computer data and scowling at whoever makes a noise against her Altena friends.

But there are enough hours in the day for an innocent reckoning or two, especially if it soothes her own guilt for not believing in Shiro, and her father. 

* * *

Ironically, considering his determination to give the Garrison no reason to insult or pressure the team, Keith is what leads to Pidge’s first genius move.

It’s been a day since Hunk and Lance left to spend time with their family, and Pidge has just finished extrapolating the schematics for the Castle Ship with her father and Coran. Allura and Krolia have been spending time working on training programs on the other side of the building, presumably with Keith and Shiro.

Yet Pidge walks down a hallway to find Iverson yelling, “Put a leash on that mutt before he tears apart something valuable!” Cosmo’s ears are flat against his head, and Keith tenses beside him. _Yikes_.

“Tell your cadets to ignore him instead of approach and provoke him,” Keith says. “Look, this isn’t comfortable for anyone, but our only hope is to work together quickly and make sure the Galra are defeated before locating Earth.”

“If that was the goal, you never should have returned.”

“We’re sorry saving the universe upended your plans to continue blaming Shiro, but this was a necessity for Earth and every other planet out there.”

“Shirogane has nothing to do with your reckless actions,” Iverson says, and then stops himself. That’s clearly the greatest lie Iverson ever brought forth into the world, but Pidge isn’t revealing herself to point it out.

And then Keith goes _weird_.

“Iverson, I promise, Voltron will do all it can to protect Earth. It won’t be defenseless, even if we’re gone, and I know you’re the one who cleared all the cadets schedules for our new training. So let us do our jobs,” Keith sounds like Shiro in the face of danger, calm and sure.

Or maybe he sounds like himself.

“If you have an issue with Cosmo, take it up with him,” Keith adds, the two of them walking away. What Pidge didn’t see, hidden by Keith’s shoulders and Cosmo’s fur, were scratch marks along the door near the boy’s dormitory where Keith offhand mentioned he stayed.

Oh my God. Cosmo’s destroying parts of the Garrison where Keith was unhappy.

This is the best news Pidge has ever heard.

* * *

“Hypothetically speaking, what are the most garish color patterns you can come up with?” Pidge whispers into the phone. It’s in the middle of the night, and she needs their input for the next stage in her plan.

“Hypothetically speaking, blood red and yellow, the colors my mom are going to repaint my room if she finds out I can’t go two days without talking to you guys about weird stuff,” Hunk hisses back.

“Hunk, just wear your paladin armor around like Pidge when she’s with her mom,” Lance mutters.

“That’s not why I wear it home. I’m just being prepared if something happens and I need to use Green,” Pidge lies.

“Uh, I saw your face when your mom appeared. It was a look of death,” Hunk adds.

“Okay, look. Now is not the time to discuss how Mom and I have a weird guilt thing going on where sure, I brought Matt and Dad back but also made her think I was dead too,” Pidge says in a rapid flurry of words.

It’s quiet for a second.

“Honestly, we don’t give enough credit to your mom. My family won’t stop raving about Colleen Holt doing this or Colleen Holt doing that,” Hunk continues after the awkward silence.

“That’s not helpful but thanks.”

“Neon, go neon,” Lance finally says.

“Okay, one problem. My materials are limited to white board markers and whatever supplies I can steal from Dad’s lab that they use for designing. Neon isn’t an option.”

“Why don’t you just order it and use it in like two days?” Hunk asks.

“Were you not listening? I want to make a sign before tomorrow.

“Oh, oh, I have an idea. Just use the normal posters tomorrow but like, make it into a museum plaque. That way, it’s okay if it looks boring but gets your intent across.”

“That’s not a bad idea, Hunk,” Lance agrees. He continues, “Pidge, you need to commit to this until we get back. I’ll raid our garage and bring art supplies. Marco took an art class to hang out with this girl a few years ago. I’m sure things are still around.”

“Nothing about your family surprises me anymore,” Pidge replies around a mouthful of marker, sitting at her desk with the poster in front of her.

“Get drawing. And don’t ask Keith for help. We know he’s bad at it.”

“Actually Lance, he did well for drawing quickly on a gameshow. You were just really stupid when playing.”

Hunk laughs as she lists, “Chopsticks and Chickens.”

“I hope you get caught by Keith and by your mom,” Lance says as a sign off.

* * *

Fortunately for Pidge and unfortunately for Lance and Iverson, she and Cosmo make a terrifyingly effective team. After he’s located an area he has chosen to destroy, he teleports her over to keep watch and make her signs. There’s a few close calls, including one where Pidge swears Shiro saw them outside some guy named James Griffin’s room but ignored them.

And sometimes she convinces Cosmo to teleport her into the offices of the sources of the editorials about Shiro and hack their computers. And maybe, once, they knock over a bookshelf in Adam Keene’s office.

But it’s all innocent.

It’s keeping Pidge busy and away from her mother and in the Garrison in quiet times. They should be grateful.

(They will not be grateful.)

At least Keith is enough of a protective barrier than no one actually gets a chance to yell at her.

* * *

The list of strange things Pidge has seen Lance do is _expansive_. She’s watched him croon to Kaltenecker during her first night in the Castle, reassuring her she won’t be used for hamburger meat. Early weeks together were spent watching him compile a skin care routine with the effort she applied to new computer programs and facing Allura’s ire as he wandered in late due to his quest to find reflective surfaces. This is the boy that dove for coins with her in a fountain, saluted mutated galra robots they blasted into space, nearly broke his leg practicing with ribbons for the Coalition shows, proved to be the worst game player in space, and complemented every pretty girl alien that crossed their paths. Pidge has had a front row seat to the Lance loving, crying, readjusting how she treats people, though she’ll throw herself off the Garrison launching pad before admitting that to herself, much less him.

And those are the events she can mention without worrying about statute of limitations. Or whatever Coran will do to them if he finds out why his favorite mustache comb disappeared and then came back with only three teeth, in a different color, and an odor that still hasn’t faded nearly a year later.

But Lance, sprawled out, back against the roof where they first heard the word Voltron, impatiently tapping a leg against the concrete, is new in the way precious few things between them are after years of close quarters during and after their time as cadets.

“You don’t have to wait like this for the aliens to beam you up. They’re downstairs,” Pidge offers, walking across the roof to him. Standing over Lance, she notices the lack of jacket or shoes.

“Yeah. You missed Romelle forget she has an inner filter and ask an officer what he was doing. But she made it seem like he was insane, and when he screamed at her Keith appeared and terrorized him. That was fun,” Lance says, staring at the sky.

“Did you tell Hunk? He loves it when she does that.” Pidge doesn’t like the frustrated look on Lance’s face and refuses to sit down next to him. She knows this story. He’ll pop up and a limb will hit her the second he works it out and rushes off.

“He’ll be here tomorrow. I’m pretty sure he’s made a list of things to show her so they can commiserate. Wait, what are you doing up here? I thought they’re still working on the ship.”

“Oh, we created synthetic teledov lenses but we’re currently running the synthesis through a cross reference of common materials to ensure we won’t struggle to recreate more if not on Earth. It’ll take a little while, so I came up here. What’s your excuse?”

“I,” Lance gestures to the sky, “was promised rain, and I am ready. My electronics are under an umbrella and everything.”

“Seriously? You couldn’t find any better location than here? It didn’t rain at all when you were home?”

“No! It was beautiful and sunny every day,” Lance says as if this was an unexpected tragedy instead of the norm.

“And you didn’t think to pilot Blue to a rainy part of the country because…?” Pidge asks, finally calculating a safe distance away from Lance to sit down. She props her legs up along the short barrier preventing someone from falling off the roof.

“Because we were told not to fly the lions around?”

“Keith told Allura off for carrying Cosmo in the cargo hold and making him feel lonely. Trust me, if he knew how important getting rain was to you, I don’t think he would have cared as long as you didn’t get caught.”

“I doubt that,” Lance dismisses.

“Nah, Keith has been watching out for us. He set up a schedule to make sure one of us is with Allura, Coran, and Romelle at any time so they aren’t alone or dealing with the Garrison staff. Shiro’s with them now, and I think Keith took Romelle to have dinner with Krolia. It’s been good here with him. Plus, every time he wants to talk to me about what we’ve been up to, something more chaotic comes up so I can escape.”

“So he’s why Iverson didn’t launch you into space yet? Hunk was really curious about that.”

“I didn’t miss either of you,” Pidge replies. She swings an arm in Lance’s direction, but the force is limited by how far she needs to stretch to hit him.

“Hey, you’re not in armor!” Lance exclaims, surprised.

“Why is everyone obsessed with my outfits? God! First Shiro kept reminding me that I could relax at home, like he wasn’t always in armor on the Ship. Next, you and Hunk and Matt always commenting. Always! Allura even offered for me to raid the clothing she brought. And don’t get me started on my mom.”

Lance stares at her, but she ignores him.

“She took me shopping and that went _so well_. What girl doesn’t dream of getting into a screaming match with her mom over a pair of leggings when all I want to do is have a normal conversation with her and get along like she and Matt do. Instead, it’s like she doesn’t even know me anymore and insists I don't know what I like to wear, and I get upset and she doesn’t listen and I run away from home and I hate wearing armor but she keeps wanting to take me shopping but it’s not like my fashion is the same and then it stresses her out because I’m stressed out and Dad isn’t helping. She hasn’t even yelled at me for leaving or tell me what it did to her. Your parents did! And sometimes all I want is for her to lecture me for leaving soap suds around the kitchen sink after doing the dishes because that was normal. And-”

“You want to wait for the rain with me?” Lance is looking at her, patting the ground next to him in invitation.

“This is a random offer,” Pidge says, to say something, breathing heavy after being interrupted.

“Considering you called to complain about your mom every day we were separated, I’ve learned a few things about her. The problem is I think you two are too alike in how you act, communicate, and fight. But you don’t want to hear that, and I don’t want you to beat me up. So, rain,” Lance concludes.

Pidge stands up and walks out of sight. He weighs the pros and cons of following her but she returns as he sits up, having shucked off her shoes and hidden her communicator under his stuff at the umbrella.

“If you mention my mom again tonight to tell Hunk about this, they won’t find your body,” she says, arm brushing his.

“I know they won’t,” he says, because that is the only appropriate reply.

Twenty minutes later, the rain begins. Pidge’s head lulls against his shoulder and her hand grabs his, and Lance just adds this to the list of things they won’t talk about.

* * *

“Do you think Iverson was joking about finding a way to ban us from Earth?” Hunk asks, thinking of his mother and his uncle and the space mall he’ll have to return to once saving the universe is over. He swears, if Sal reverted back to the former plates due to convenience and pricing, Hunk will open a competing restaurant and be a tyrant for _months_.

“Of course he was,” Lance lies, like a true friend and not an accomplice to the major reason Iverson wants to disavow the lot of them. He’s been indulging Pidge in all of her crazier exploits in the past week, doing whatever she wanted to drive Garrison staff insane.

Behind Hunk, Romelle watches Pidge, in paladin armor and lacking half a right eyebrow, use the sole of her boot to ground out a small flame, and grimaces.

* * *

“Reunite with families and beg forgiveness for leaving them?” It’s been two weeks on Earth, and progress is good for most.

“Two checks,” Lance tells Hunk. Neither looks at her. Last night she overheard her parents talking, and Mom sniffling about not knowing what to do with her. It’s a mutual confusion. Matt’s spent the entirety of their time on Earth following Mom around wherever she goes. Pidge can’t figure out the magic combination that will fix everything and make her happy to see Pidge, but no one needs to remind her time is running out.

“People Cosmo has gone after: James Griffin?”

“Check.”

“Double check, actually,” Pidge adds.

“Professor Montgomery.”

“ _Big_ check.”

“Dos Santos.”

“Multiple middle sized checks...Hunk are you actually drawing those on the clipboard?” Lance tries to peer at Hunk’s list, but gets swatted away.

“Give me that, I know who we made all the signs for,” Pidge wrestles the list away from them both and starts swiping a pen all over it. Frantically, Hunk lunges for it.

“Why is talk to Pidge on this?”

“Uh, because you’re one of my best friends, and I should always want to talk to you,” Hunk offers weakly. Lance just stares at him and shakes his head.

“Dude.”

“Well,” Pidge says, crossing her arms, “I’m waiting.”

“I told you not to put it on the checklist,” Lance mutters from the corner of his mouth.

“And I told you we should practice before talking to her,” Hunk replies, staring expectantly at Lance.

“Alright, alright. Katie,” Pidge grimaces, likely knowing how serious this is for him to call her that, “What is going on with you and your mom?”

“Nothing,” she says. She feels like bristling and works hard to swallow down complaints about them prying.

“Come on, Pidge. We want to help,” Hunk adds. His eyes are wide and earnest.

“ _Nothing_ is going on with Mom. I keep waiting for her to tear me apart for how I left but instead she just tries to act like things are normal. But for Matt, they can’t handle not being in the same room together and talk about space and all his adventures. Whenever Mom and I are together, it just becomes a pointless screaming match but not about anything important,” she continues, chest feeling tight.

“Leggings,” Lance agrees. Hunk looks baffled.

“Right? I just don’t know what to do.”

“Have you told her you feel this way?” Hunk leans forward to pat her on the shoulder. “It could help clear the air up.”

“Or somehow be the one thing to make this worse? Ugh, I’ll deal with it later. Can we please go back to setting off a glitter bomb when the cadets are eating for gawking at Coran?”

Lance and Hunk stare at her sympathetically before Lance takes pity and brings up the diagram they drew up.

“How did you get Keith to agree to this?”

“Promised him it would look like a cadet did it so Voltron isn’t implicated. He’s the one who insisted on us using Cosmo.”

“Oh, cool.”

* * *

 “When Lance and Hunk told me there was an emergency in the simulator I was needed for, this isn’t what I expected,” Keith calls out from what Pidge assumes is the doorway. She’s crouched inside the psuedo-ship, updating the missions and hacking the old scores to place Shiro’s name at the top.

“Uh, yeah, considering there is no emergency?” Pidge replies. Another line of code scrolls by, and she smiles.

“Besides you? I thought they would have tied you to a chair for _this_ ,” Keith’s voice sounds louder and closer.

“What is this?” She hears the weariness in her voice and checks how loose the back of a chair is in case she needs to wack her way out of the simulator.

“A talk about hiding from your parent and simultaneously damaging the Galaxy Garrison property.” Keith steps into the simulator, only to sit at the exit, stretching his legs. Cosmo bounces in after.

“No offense, but they sent you for a heart to heart? You realize I’m hacking into the simulator to bring Shiro’s scores back, right?”

“Well, I’m the only one you can’t run from,” Keith says dryly, lifting one of Cosmo’s paws on his lap and letting it drop back down with a tiny thump. “Plus, I’m an expert on using the Garrison as a means of avoiding family frustrations.”

“Which is why I thought you would leave me alone to work it out?” Pidge trails off hopefully. Shoo shoo.

“Not a chance. Even if I wasn’t here on my own, Shiro would come around next and bring me with him,” Keith continues, and Pidge’s eyes widen when she hears Shiro’s name. “This is about him too, right? You haven’t been around as much as thought to check on his arm, or eat dinner with us, or geek out about the Castle tech. I’ve reassured him that you’re just focusing on being back home instead of avoiding him.”

“I’m avoiding my mom too, if it helps?”

Keith doesn’t respond to that, letting her sit quietly and code for what feels like minutes but is instead close to an hour. He doesn’t complain or try to engage her in conversation at all. It’s nice, even if it’s so different from the bustle of training cadets and creating the ship that’s been their soundtrack for the past weeks. She wonders if he’s missed the quiet solitude too.

But the silence can’t repeat forever.

“So, if I ask you a question, will you answer?” Pidge is thinking of her spaceball caterpillar friends or the fake Keith she called emo. It was a different her, and a different him.

Keith gazes at her for a minute, searchingly, but nods.

“Did you know Shiro was sick before Kerberos?” It’s been bothering her today, especially, having to manually recall Shiro’s scores and legacy from banishment, as if he never existed, as if he wasn’t and still isn’t their greatest hope.

Keith starts rubbing Cosmo’s fur, a repeating pattern of back and forth. Whatever he’s staring at, it isn’t her.

“I did. He told me before he was officially selected. I’m guessing you found his records when hacking into the Garrison files?”

“No. Part of the reason I targeted so many of the staff these few weeks is for how they worked with the Kerberos pieces blaming Shiro and his disease. I hoped it would make me feel better for blaming him when I was younger. It’s just so easy to remember how angry I was now that we’re back, and I wish I knew Shiro then, knew I should defend him.”

“They made his disease public as part of their blame.” Keith sounds monotone, words rough as they tumble out of his throat.

“Oh. You didn’t know. There were some really ugly stories coming out in the weeks they were confirmed gone.”

“No.”

“It probably happened after you left for the desert.”

“It shouldn’t have happened at all. This was Shiro’s right to tell people about his diagnosis.” The tendons in his neck seem to be straining as he swallows back whatever else he wants to say. “I’ll have to tell him later.”

“Won’t it hurt him? I mean, does he need to know?” Pidge isn’t one to ignore the truth, but it’s Shiro, and Keith is the person in the galaxy who most wants to love him and spare him pain. Pidge loves him in her own way and is sick at the thought of Shiro’s expression if he sees the headlines and blame.

“It will. But it’s not my job to shield him from something we have no control over. It’s to support him and how he handles it,” and here his mouth twitches, “and to sicc an excellent computer hacker with free time on her hands to consider giving the author’s computer a virus.”

“Done and done weeks ago.” Pidge tries to smile, but all she sees is a slight quiver in Shiro’s jaw she’s only peaked at when she’s exited rooms, leaving Keith and Shiro alone to talk, to cope. It turns into her mother, crying softly on the couch as the evening news played on about the Kerberos mission, the ways she swallowed and shook out her shoulders when realizing she wasn’t alone and needed to be strong.

“How did you forgive Krolia? Because I don’t know if my Mom can forgive me, and I don’t want to talk to her until I know she will.” Pidge is exhausted from the confession, and Keith is no different, likely thinking of his mother and Shiro, but also her.

“We talked. A lot of it is private, and most of it unique to us, but if our parents are alike, then your Mom loves you enough to forgive anything.”

Pidge starts laughing, and Cosmo and Keith both share a look of confusion, which has her laughing more.

“I just thought about if our Moms were friends, we’d have spent our childhoods on playdates and family dinners. Your sense of humor would be so good.” She keeps giggling.

“Maybe I could have taught you how to draw more than crude stick figures,” and Pidge isn’t imagining the smile flickering across his face, his concession to the hell she and Cosmo have inflicted upon his enemies while he had to be the proper leader.

“Time was of the essence,” she huffs, amused, before biting her lip. “What happens if she doesn’t forgive me?”

“She will, even if it takes her a few years on a Space Whale. You have us until then. You know Coran already accepted he has six kids, and I’m sure Krolia won’t mind if you borrow her too,” Keith says with a shrug, but it’s comforting.

Stumbling on asleep legs, Pidge stands, waiting for Keith to do the same so she can collapse against him in a weird facsimile of a hug. Cosmo gets excited and prances around them.

“So,” Keith begins, after a few seconds pass, “do you think Coran would record new lines for us to play during simulator runs?”

Pidge grins and tugs him out of the simulator.

* * *

“I’m going to talk to Mom alone, so can you stay in your room until dinner?” Katie asks Matt on the way home.

“Please don’t wear armor, and please don’t sound like you’re about to fight a war.” He was a simple boy, once.

“Did I ever judge you for Mr. Snuggle Bear? Why attack my security blanket?”

 _The blatant hypocrisy_.

“You stole Mr. Snuggle Bear from me! And while I appreciate the tactical awareness, it’s Mom. What do you expect her to do, duel you at high noon on the front lawn?”

“I’m not sure I would win that fight.”

“You wouldn’t,” Dad agrees from the driver’s seat. “The number of times I’ve seen your mother win a fight, oh, it’s inspirational.”

Matt specifically does not want a love like Mom and Dad’s. He’s going to pretend Katie isn’t charmed.

“How about Matt and I drive around and pick up dinner. That why you two are alone,” Sam suggests.

“If Mom and I were killing each other, who would you save?” Katie asks, just to be a monster and kill time. He sticks his tongue at her and pretends to consider.

“Would you have the Green Lion?”

“No, just hand-to-hand.”

“Then Mom’s winning no matter what, and I’m not getting involved.”

Dad, paused at a red light, turns around to look at Katie. “I would die with you, sweetheart.”

“Thanks Dad!”

* * *

“Do you hate me for leaving?” Katie calls out from the door. Colleen remembers how she used to walk in unannounced as a little girl, taking a book from a shelf near Colleen’s desk and sitting by her to read. She used to be so pleased reading adult books, not realizing Colleen kept more age appropriate texts within her reach.

“What?” Colleen replies. When she was pregnant with Matt, none of the motherhood books warned her about this situation. _What to do when your children run off into space on dangerous missions only to return_? Sam once joked about writing his own guide to marrying and raising geniuses, and she can’t help but think of her own personal introduction: _now with helpful hints on corralling space cadets_!

“Do you hate me for leaving?” Katie repeats.

“There’s nothing on this planet or any other you could do that would make me hate you. What brought this on?” Colleen can offer more than a few guesses of her own, but none of them matter if they’re not what Katie’s concerned by.

“Well, we don’t talk about how I left. And I’ve tried to. Kind of.” When she was seven, before realizing they got in the way and would take too much time to remove, Katie wore bangles of mermaids and stars on her wrist. Whenever she was nervous, she would push them around, rubbing her right arm. The bangles disappeared in time, but the habit remained.

“I wish I could have gone with you or spared you all the pain. I wish the same for Matt, but it’s different. He didn’t have a choice. You did.”

“I didn’t! I knew Dad and Matt were out there!” Katie shouts, and takes a step backward, closer to the door.

“I know. You brought them home. And I’m so proud of you for doing so, and so sorry you were the one who had to.”

“You seem happier to see Matt, like it’s such a shock but it’s expected for me to walk through the door.” Katie’s foot nudges a corner of a shelf, and Colleen can’t handle the distance anymore, standing up to bring Katie into her arms.

“You believed in them, like I believed in you. When the Garrison realized your identity and tried to claim you had disappeared into the desert, I went looking for you in my own way: with computers, with writing machines. I refused to believe you would die out there or not come home to me. So while I mourned your father and Matt, I’ve just been waiting for you to return, knowing you would. When I turn around and watch you work, or code, I’m so grateful you’re there, right in front of me, but I never let myself be convinced you wouldn’t be. Matt’s my surprise but you’re my inevitability.”

Katie’s face rubs against her shoulder, and Colleen feels the tears against her collarbone. “There’s a lot of grief to work out on my own or with my therapist, but all you have to do is let me hold you and dote and drive you up the wall every time you come back. No apologies, no guilt for leaving me. Keep yourself alive with that energy instead.”

“Can I apologize for throwing a pair of leggings at your head?” Katie’s laughing, and smiling.

“Sweetheart, those were horribly thin. If you’re bringing clothes back with you to space, and you are because you’ve grown, I’ll be damned before I let you walk out without leggings of a thicker material that can handle running around or tumbling without ripping.”

“Seriously, that was the issue?” Katie grips her upper arms and looks at her as if she was insane.

“Of course? I’ll support you wearing whatever you want when we don’t need to consider tactical advantage.” Colleen is confused this is an issue, but Katie starts laughing again, uncontrollably.

“Have you considered bulletproof shielding under Matt’s old sweatshirt?”

* * *

“Oh my brilliant girl,” Colleen says, cradling Katie’s face in her hands, trying to memorize the way the sun brightens her hair and her eyes sparkle the closer she gets to her lion.

“I wish I could give you a reminder of where to stab someone between their ribs, but I know Galran physiology is so different from our own,” Colleen proclaim loudly. Katie knows it was because Iverson was getting too close, as was another Garrison staffer. Each steps back frantically.

“I wish this wasn’t a normal conversation we have as a family,” Matt mourns, hugging Dad.

“Hush, honey.” Colleen reaches into her purse and pulls out a thigh holster in emerald green. “I know your armor has components, but I wanted to make sure you always have a spare weapon or gear. I checked with some of your friends, and they assured me it won’t get in the way of your suit."

Inside the holster are a short knife, bandages, cables, and a weird cube, all gray but for a side in green. Katie takes it out and discovers it does nothing when she holds it.

“Uh, Mom? It’s broken.”

“Take off your glove and firmly press your thumb on the green square.” Colleen is smiling.

After she does so, a small gallery of pictures projects out of it. A few with her and Matt as young children, and more recent ones right before Kerberos and now, taken days ago after she and Mom talked.

“I know we can’t assume a Galra won’t ever touch your gear, and that’s why you were worried about bringing anything from Earth, but you father, Coran, and I created the cube so it only reacts to your thumb print or Matt. If anyone else fiddles with it, they’ll be electrocuted and the pictures will disappear."

“I love it! Oh my god, how did you weaponize the circuits when they’re so small without it needing a larger power source? It’s amazing!” Katie is cheerfully waving it in the air.

“Or more importantly we can focus on how Mom figured out how to bring their images to space without getting them kidnapped,” Matt says, leaning against Mom and tossing his own cube in the air.

“Or that,” she repeats before jumping into her mother’s arms for another goodbye. Hunk’s family have loaded up, and Lance is walking into red, only stopping to wave at the McClains and, surprisingly, the Holts.

“It’s nice you have such a sweetheart looking out for you,” Mom muses as she places a final kiss to Katie’s hair.

“Ugh, Mom. I don’t know what Dad’s telling you but Hunk is like my brother. Don’t be gross.”

“I was talking about Lance. Who do you think helped me learn about your armor?” Colleen smiles as Katie sputters.

“That’s worse!” Katie whines, even as her cheeks are dusted with pink.

Colleen decides not to point the coloring out to her.

Her daughter is more than smart enough to figure it out on her own.

* * *

 "Iverson, if you ever joke about banishing my daughter, I'll spend the rest of my life ruining yours. Oh Sam's calling. See you soon! Count on it."

**Author's Note:**

> my goal was to write a humorous companion piece to another story about keith being the only sane one while voltron rebuilds on earth and mutually pines over his relationship with shiro while colleen holt and krolia become best friends sipping margaritas.
> 
> AND THEN PIDGE HAPPENED. 
> 
> written in like two days to get out whatever feelings I have for season 7. I've got a lot of thoughts on this one and haven't proofread and just needed to get it out so I don't hold on to it forever. maybe i'll add on or revise later.
> 
> [Tell me how you too are not ready for season 7](http://thissupposedcrime.tumblr.com/)


End file.
